For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

Fear is a constant battle for me.

I heard someone say, “What you stare at becomes bigger.” I nodded in agreement. It’s hard not to feed fear when all I see are the ways a situation can go wrong. That’s when I resort to planning and manipulating in an effort to control the situation. I convince myself that it’s up to me to avoid disaster. And sometimes I will take myself out of the scenario completely. I sit on the sidelines and watch others do life, and I ultimately miss out.

When I was in grammar school, my classmates and I would regularly gather on the playground for a game of softball. I was careful to never take a position that required expertise because to say I was a terrible player is an understatement. Sauntering to the outfield, I would get out as far as possible hoping to avoid participation. But inevitably, the ball miraculously found its way straight to me.

“Catch it! Catch it!” my teammates yelled. And just when I reached for the ball, all I could focus on was how it became more and more massive upon its approach. It’s going to hit me. Land on the top of my head. Knock me out. And leave a mountain-sized lump. Thoughts swirled in my mind. And as fear overtook me, I shut my eyes and ducked out of the ball's path.